You can try to tell me your house isn’t haunted,
I won’t believe you, but you can try.
I saw a ghost in your dining room. Trying to tell me your house is haunted.
F*** you dude, I know it is. When I went in your bedroom hallway I saw paintings flying off the walls and goblins were trying to make me drink their wine. It’s totally haunted and you’re just serving to make me mad at this point. I thought we were good enough friends for you to be truthful with me but I guess not. I guess we’re still at that stage of friendship where you try to convince me your house isn’t haunted while f***ing goblins try to get me drunk. F*** you dude, I thought we were just going to chill or something and then I come to your house and you try to tell me it isn’t haunted. You’re a superficial friend. You’re a fake a$$ friend and I’m never going to come to you with my problems, never going to tell you about my anxieties. I don’t even think I want to hang out with you. This sux dude. Goblins nipping at their ankles trying to get me to drink their f***ing wine, whose wine is that? They made it themselves, how good can that be? Say your house is haunted. It’s f***ing haunted, and I know it, you know it, just admit it.
credits
from The Worst Show on Television,
released August 24, 2017
Jonah gives a startlingly prescient spoken word performance on this one.
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